So, I decided to email a friend with whom I could frontload the whole story regarding the controller and then launch into having her help me make a decision about the (not so) "golden handshake." I started to compose the email and got the story started and the whole thing became clear: Of course I wasn't going to confront the controller. And I was going to express my interest in the (more brass than) "golden handshake," while getting advice and figuring if I could make it as a retiree. Writing the email (or it could have been a letter) to an actual person was very helpful in putting all the information down in a narrative form, which can be better for some people than the old columns with positives and negatives. In this case there are lots of positives. The negatives are that I am afraid of living in a cardboard box. (But then I am afraid of that a lot!) And that negative carries a lot of weight! So, I like the idea of writing a friend an email or letter. Did I say that I sent it? No, I didn't send it. Once I could see where I was going with the decision, I stopped writing and sent it to myself instead. And there it was as I opened it: a clear explanation of my problem and my decision.
The other thing I learned is that I can make what I call a decision-step. This is where I make a small step toward the final decision. This is very helpful when deciding to be fit. The first decision-step is to get a fitness video and watch it--carefully (and with chips, if necessary!)
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